笑话是一种十分常见的语言现象，在日常生活中，它无处不在，起着十分重要的作用。作为一种独特的娱乐方式，它能够帮助人们减轻压力、放松心情、缓解疲劳，有利于身体健康。下面是小编带来的简单英文幽默小笑话，欢迎阅读!
简单英文幽默小笑话篇一
Not to Be Taken Out 概不外借
Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town.
"May I borrow a book from you?" he asked politely.
"Yes, you're more than welcome to it," the neighbour told him.
"But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make a rule never to let any book go out of my library."
Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden.
"Why, certainly," Twain told him, "You're more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden."
在特里镇，马克.吐温有一次去一位邻居那儿借本书。
“我可以向您借本书吗?”他礼貌地问道。
“当然，非常乐意，”邻居告诉他，“但我要求你在这儿读。你知道我有一条规定，那就是决不让一本书拿出我的图书室。 ”
几天后，这位邻人想从吐温那儿借台割草机。
“噢，当然，”吐温告诉他，“非常乐意借给你。但我要你在这儿用。你知道我从来不允许它拿出我的花园。”
简单英文幽默小笑话篇二
Are They Worn Out 还没穿破
"No," growled(咆哮) the quartermaster, "you can't have a new pair of shoes. The pair you have aren't worn out."
"Not worn out," cried the recruit, " Why, if I step on a dime I can feel if it's head or tails."
“不行，”军需官大声说：“你不能领一双新鞋子，你穿着的那双还没有穿破。”
“没穿破，”新兵叫道：“为什么?如果我踩到一个一角硬币，我可以知道踩着的那面是头还是字。”
简单英文幽默小笑话篇三
Make your fortune 怎么发财的
How did you make your fortune?
I became the partner of a rich man. He had the money and I had the experience.
How did that help?
Now he has the experience and I the money.
你是怎么发财的?
我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。
那有什么用?
现在他有经验了，我有钱。
简单英文幽默小笑话篇四
Did your dad help you? 你爸爸帮你了吗?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.
一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说：“蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?”
“不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。”
简单英文幽默小笑话篇五
I Understand Him 我懂他的话
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded(谴责，责难) my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . Mump umn Kmpfhm, was all I heard.
Drew, I scolded, no one can understand a word you're saying.
He says he wants some ketchup(番茄酱) , my husband said calmly
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, How in the world did you understand him?
I'm a dentist, my husband explained.
在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。喔、呢，我听到的就是这些。
杜鲁，我责备道，没人明白你在说什么。
他说他要一些番茄酱，我丈夫平静地说。
坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：你究竟如何明白他的话的呢?
我是牙医。我丈夫解释道。
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