练 概要写作示例与写作训练 8 【写作示例】
【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
No one would be willing to pay one-third of the price for the packaging or wrapping of what he or she purchases. But over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in China. Behind this disease are some appalling figures. The wasted packaging materials are estimated to be worth about 280 billion yuan annually. And such packages and wrappings thrown away by customers make up half of the volume of solid waste in cities. And its percentage has been increasing. If the cost for treating the solid waste is included, the money that has been wasted on over-packaging should be much higher. To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down. But the packagings will then be thrown away by consumers. The same is true with plastic wrappings. Over-packaging also damage the interest of consumers when they have to spend quite a high percentage on something that they will have to throw into the dustbin.
Product packaging and wrapping used to be very simple 30 years ago. Moon cakes were wrapped just in papers with a piece of red paper on top as trademark. "Shabby" was the word many had used to criticize the way Chinese products were packaged. And shabby packaging was condemned for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market. It is reasonable to pay enough attention to packaging or wrapping products in such a manner that they can be appealing to customers" eyes. But that does not definitely justify that packaging should even outshine what is inside. In the Chinese proverb, maidu huanzhu, the buyer returns the pearl and just keeps the case because the latter is too fancy and luxurious. The message from the proverb is that over-packaging
helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality--- to buy fancy-looking stuff but not what they really need. This is also against the principle of frugality and sustainable development. 【思维路径】
[ 核心内容]
本文是一篇议论文，全文共有六段。第一段提出了一个问题，即在中国，过度包装（over-packaging）已经造成了消费者多余的开支以及给环境带来了大量的废物污染。第二段则用数字进行了说明过度包装造成的巨大的财力损失及固体污染。第三段告诉我们为了生产更多的包装纸，我们不得不砍伐更多的树木。第四段回顾了过度包装的历史缘由。第五段则表明了作者的态度，即包装不能掩盖货物本身的价值。第六段中，作者借“买椟还珠”这个成语告诉我们，过度包装助长了不健康的消费理念，即只重货物外表，不在乎货物本身的价值。
[ 写作思路] （ （1）
）
抓住文章论点，理清论证关系。原文为议论文，第一段就提出了文章的论点，然后第二、三两端是进一步通过数据等事实论证第一段中提出的要点。第四段引出历史事实，进一步深入分析问题的起源。第五、六两段又进一步通过辩证分析的方式，表明作者的立场和态度。
（ （2）
）， 研读文中信息， 灵活 处理论据。论据是让论点使人更易接受的支持性的事实材料。原文的第二、三两段就是通过数据进行摆事实、讲道理。而原文第四与第六段又引出历史与文化传统里面关于“包装”问题的看法。因而，在缩写的时候，我们就需要对论据进行适当的安排与处理：既要注重数据事实，又要照顾到“历史事件”在论证中所起的作用。
（ （3 ）确立文章主题，合理安排结构。原文第一段话首先表明了文章的中心论点,即“Over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in China”（要点 1）；第二段用数据证明事实证明了文章的中心，即“Over-packaging has waste too much money on the packages and on the treatment of the solid waste” （要点 2）；第三段又进一步指出了过度包装的另一个危害，即“To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down” （要点 3）；第四段回顾了人
们之所以要过度包装的历史原因，即“Shabby packaging was condemned for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market” （要点 4）；第五段表达了作者对过度包装的态度，即“Packaging should not outshine what is inside” （要点 5）；在第六段中，作者借“买椟还珠”这个成语故事，表明了文章的结论，即“Over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality” （要点 6）。通过以上分析，我们可以发现原文的论述结构：提出论点（要点 1）---论据论证（要点 2、3）---回顾历史（要点 4）---表明态度（要点 5）---得出结论（要点 6）。那么在缩写的时候，我们就必须首先确定采取何种表达顺序，完成对原文中心的表述。
[ 参考范文]
Shabby packaging was once criticized for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market（要点 4）, but now over-packaging has caused an increase of environmental pollution（要点 1）, let alone a huge waste of money on the packages and the treatment of the solid waste（要点 2）, and many more trees being cut down for the packages（要点 3）. Besides, over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality（要点 6）. So, please remember that packaging should not outshine what is inside（要点 5）.(75 words) [ 范文解析]
范文把要点 4 放在缩写的开头，首先交代了过度包装的历史缘由，然后整合要点 1，从而引出本文的中心论点。之后，范文的第一句又用一个衔接词 let alone 把作为分论点（论据）的要点 2、3 也整合在一个句子里面，这样就使得表述更加紧凑。然后，范文又把作为结论的要点 6 作为另一个论述的核心，并且用衔接词 besides 实现了与前文的连贯一致的表达。范文最后用 so 引出作者对过度包装的态度（要点 5），并结束了文章的缩写。这种安排显得自然而又流畅。
[ 提炼归纳]
1 、关注对论述中心的提炼。议论文一般会在行文中表现出极强的观点或、态度或个人倾向，所以在通读全文的过程中，需要首先抓住文章的中心论点、论据以及各个部分之间的层次关系。同时，也必须关注作者的论述方法及写作特点。
2 、强调论述的连贯一致性。由于议论文中有鲜明的观点或个人倾向性的表达，而且有时作者的写作又不一定是按照常规的方法进行，因而在缩写的时候，我们就需要分清事实、论据与论点，以及各个部分之间的逻辑关系，从而实现意义表达的连贯性。例如，范文对要点 4 与要点 5 的处理就是处于对表述时的意义连贯的考虑。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Diet Coke, diet Pepsi, diet pills, no-fat diet, vegetable dict...We are surrounded by the word" diet" everywhere we look and listen. We have so easily been attracted by the promise and potential of diet products that we have stopped thinking about what diet products are doing to us. We are paying for products that harm us psychologically and physically. Diet products significantly weaken us psychologically. On one level, influenced by diet products, people tend to watch their weight rather than their diet. Diet products make us Jump over the thinking stage and go straight for the scale(秤）instead. All we have to do is to recognize the word" diet" in food labels in the supermarket. On another level, diet products make people believe that gain comes without pain, and that life can be without resistance and struggle. For example, every time we have a zero-calorie drink, we are telling ourselves without our awareness that we don"t have to work to get results. The danger of diet products lies not only in the psychological effects they have on us, but also in the physical harm that they cause. Diet foods can indirectly harm our bodies because consuming them instead of healthy foods means we are preventing our bodies from having basic nutrients. Diet foods and diet pills contain zero calorie only because the diet industry has created chemicals to produce these wonder products. Diet products may not be nutritional, and the chemical that go into diet products are potentially dangerous. Now that we are aware of the effects that diet products have on us, it is time to seriously think about buying them. Losing weight lies in the power of minds, not in the power of chemicals. Once we realize this, we will be much better able to resist diet products, and therefore prevent the
potential harm that comes from using them. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
These days, football is one of the most popular sports in the world. Given that Neil Armstrong wanted to take a football to the Moon, we could even say that it is also the most popular sport out of this world! The history of the game goes back over two thousand years to Ancient China. It was then known as cuju(kick ball), a game using a ball of animal skins with hair inside. Goals were hung in the air. Football as we know it today started in Great Britain, where the game was given new rules.
That football is such a simple game to play is perhaps the basis of its popularity. It is also a game that is very cheap to play. You don"t need expensive equipment; even the ball doesn"t have to cost much money. All over the world you can see kids playing to their hearts "content with a ball made of plastic bags; just like Pele did when he was a boy.
Another factor behind football"s global popularity is the creativity and excitement on the field. It is fun enough to attract millions of people. You do not have to be a fan to recognize the skill of professional player-how they use their bodies to pass, score and defend can be amazing to see-or to feel the excitement of a game ending with a surprising twist.
What"s more, football has become one of the best ways for people to communicate: it does not require words, but everyone understands it. It breaks down walls and brings people together on and off the field. Take, for example, the famous football game on Christmas Day 1914. World War I had broken out months before, but British and German soldiers put down their guns and played football together-one moment of peace to remember during years of conflict.
“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, ...... “said Bill Shankly, the
famous footballer and manager. “I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” This might sound funny, but one only has to think about the Earth to realize that our planet is shaped like a football. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Teenagers" fitness is now a major concern and physical exercise is very important. It reduces stress and improves fitness. Exercise makes your body strong and helps you to keep the right body weight. Sports scientists offer the following advice to teenagers: First, find out your present level of fitness. Then you can design a programme that will help you become healthier. There are three levels of fitness that need a change of lifestyle. ""Overweight"" means that the person gets very little exercise and often has a serious weight problem. ""Inactive"" means that the person does not join in many physical activities, but is not seriously overweight. ""Active"" refers to people who take part in sports and other physical activities, but do not have a high fitness level. According to experts, overweight teenagers should work out to keep healthy. Ride a bike, play volleyball or basketball for a while, and go for a twenty-minute walk each day. All these will help to burn calories. Inactive teenagers should do similar activities, but add some bending and stretching exercises, such as push-ups and sit-ups, starting with twenty of each a day. Inactive people can take a little more exercise than overweight people because their bodies are stronger. The same rule is also suitable for active teenagers. Experts also suggest one hour a week or more on running and other forms of intensive exercise, together with fifteen minutes a day spent on stretching and bending activities. They are really important in order to prevent injuries. Some weight-training and other body-strengthening exercises could also be planned in the programme in order to increase the person"s strength.
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4.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
The famous classical pianist, Kong Xiangdong, surprised his fans last week by giving a concert combining classical music with Chinese folk music. Kong explained that he tried this because he wanted to create something new." As a musician, playing the same music in different cities of the world is very boring, "says Kong. He also feels that playing Chinese folk music on the piano can help bring it to the rest of the world. Music has always been part of Kong"s world. As his mother was a great music lover, he lived with music from birth. But it wasn"t always easy for the young Kong Xiangdong. His mother couldn"t buy him a piano until he was seven. She had to draw piano keys on a piece of paper so that he could learn to play as early as possible. The 5-year-old Kong would practice on the paper piano as his mother clapped the rhythm. He was made to practice the piano so much that, at times, he thought about giving up. However, he didn"t quit, and he became a great pianist. In 1986,at the age of 18,he became the youngest prize winner in Moscow"s Tchaikovsky International Competition. He went on to win awards in competitions across the world. Because of Kong"s talent and hard work, he became famous worldwide. But after years of performing, he felt that in some ways he had lost his identity. This is why he went back to his roots and rediscovered the beauty in Chinese folk music. He began experimenting with different styles and his Dream Tour Concert is the result. Kong"s new experiment in Chinese folk music is so important to him that he even changed his appearance. When he arrived at his concert last week, he had shaved off all his hair! Since his music style was new, he decided his hairstyle had to be new too! Whether Kong is changing his appearance or transforming his music, he is a pioneer in music
today. The concert last week was such a success that Kong"s Dream Tour Concert is expected to run for the next two years in Beijing, Shanghai, and other main cities before going to Paris and New York. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
5.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Electric car sales around the world rose by 54 percent in 2017, taking global stock across the three-million threshold （门槛）, the International Energy Agency （IEA）
said in a report on Wednesday. In China, the world’s biggest market for electric vehicles, sales also grew by about half — but their market share remained small at 2.2 percent. In Norway, electric vehicles have by far the world’s highest market share, with 39.2 percent, according to the IEA. “Supportive policies and cost reductions are likely to lead to significant growth in the market uptake of electric vehicles in the outlook period to 2030,” the report said, If policymakers honor their current commitments to the environment, “the number of electric light-duty vehicles on the road would reach 125 million by 2030,” it added. And if policy ambitions develop further, that number could become as high as 220 million by 2030, it said. But the IEA said that in order for the cars of the future to overtake their petrol and diesel-powered （柴油动力）competitors, governments will have to take the lead.
“The main markets by numbers （China）
and sales share （Norway）
have the strongest policy push,” the IEA said. “Looking ahead, the strongest current policy signals come from electric car policies in China and California, as well as the European Union’s recent proposal on CO2 emissions （排放）standards for 2030. ” The EU has committed to cutting 40 percent of its greenhouse gas emissions from 1990 levels, and to improving its use of renewable energy by at least 27 percent. France, home to
Europe’s second-biggest car industry after Germany, has gone further by announcing a plan to end sales of petrol and diesel vehicles by 2040, as part of an ambitious plan to meet its targets under the Paris climate accord （条约）. Electric vehicles use batteries instead of petrol or diesel fuel, thereby massively reducing their damage to the environment. But they are not without controversy （争论）.
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答案与解析 1.【参考范文】
Nowadays we are obsessed with diet products, which turn out both physically and psychologically harmful(要点 1).First, we are tempted into paying more attention to our physical weight than eating habits(要点 2).People also tend to believe losing weight is effortless, thus causing psychological harm(要点 3).Second, diet products bring about physical harm, for what they contain are not nutrients but potentially dangerous chemicals(要点 4).Accordingly, we should think twice before purchasing diet products and try to say goodbye to them(要点 5). 【解析】
这是一篇概要写作。讲述了目前人们对节食产品依赖的现象并指出节食产品对人们的身心健康都有危害，应该抵制节食产品。
文章第一段为总起句，“Diet Coke, diet Pepsi, diet pills, no-fat diet, vegetable dict...We are surrounded by the word" diet" everywhere we look and listen. We have so easily been attracted by the promise and potential of diet products that we have stopped thinking about what diet products are doing to us.”讲述了现在人们对节食产品的依赖，“We are paying for products that harm us psychologically and physically.”点出节食产品对我们的身心都有伤害。所以第一段的概括为“现在我们对节食产品很依赖，这种产品对我们身心都有伤害。”，即“Nowadays we are
obsessed with diet products, which turn out both physically and psychologically harmful”，第二段和第三段分别讲述节食产品对心理的坏处和对身体的坏处。
第二段从两方面论述节食产品对心理的坏处，第一方面是“On one level, influenced by diet products, people tend to watch their weight rather than their diet. Diet products make us Jump over the thinking stage and go straight for the scale(秤）instead. All we have to do is to recognize the word" diet" in food labels in the supermarket.”，讲述了人们更关注体重而不是自己的饮食习惯，第二方面是“On another level, diet products make people believe that gain comes without pain, and that life can be without resistance and struggle. For example, every time we have a zero-calorie drink, we are telling ourselves without our awareness that we don"t have to work to get results.”，讲述了人们认为减肥不用付出努力，节食产品从这两方面对我们的心理造成伤害，所以第二段的主旨大意为“First, we are tempted into paying more attention to our physical weight than eating habits. People also tend to believe losing weight is effortless, thus causing psychological harm.”。
第三段“Diet products may not be nutritional, and the chemical that go into diet products are potentially dangerous.”讲述了是因为节食产品可能没有营养，并且其中的化学成分可能有害，所以会对我们的身体造成伤害，所以第三段主旨大意为“Second, diet products bring about physical harm, for what they contain are not nutrients but potentially dangerous chemicals.”。
最后一段号召我们戒掉节食产品，故主旨大意为“Accordingly, we should think twice before purchasing diet products and try to say goodbye to them.” 2.【参考范文】
Football enjoys universal popularity with a history tracing back to Ancient China and its modern rules originating from Great Britain. (要点 1)Such popularity lies first in the simplicity and low cost of playing the game. (要点 2)Creative football skills and exciting game atmosphere also contribute to its popularity. (要点 3)Furthermore, football is a means of communication beyond words, powerful enough to dissolve barriers and promote peace. (要点 4) Accordingly, football is more than just a sport. (要点 5)(71 words) 【解析】
这是一篇概要写作。
写作步骤 1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要说明了足球的历史可以追溯到古代中国，它的现代规则起源于英国。这种流行首先在于游戏的简单和低成本。创造性的足球技巧和激动人心的比赛气氛也有助于它的流行。此外，足球是一种超越语言的交流手段，它足以消除障碍，促进和平。因此，足球不仅仅是一项运动。
2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。
3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。
3.【参考范文 1】
Physical exercise plays a significant role in teenagers" fitness. Teenagers are advised to identify their fitness level to design a health programme.(要点 1)""Overweight"", ""inactive"" and """active"" are the three levels of fitness that urge one to change his lifestyle. (要点 2) In addition to calorie-burning exercises that overweight teenagers should do, inactive and active teenagers are advised to exercise more due to their strong bodies.(要点 3) Furthermore, intensive exercise is vital to injury-prevention while body-strengthening exercises help build up one"s physical strength.(要点 4) (79 words) 【参考范文 2】
Physical exercise is beneficial to teenagers" health. Teenagers are advised to figure out their fitness level and make a plan to keep fit. (要点 1) There are three levels of physical states, namely ""Overweight"", ""Inactive"" and ""Active"", which urge a change of lifestyle. (要点 2) According to different fitness levels, experts suggest teenagers do calorie-burning exercises, bending and stretching exercises. (要点 3)Besides, intensive exercise and body-strengthening exercises are recommended to avoid injuries and build up one"s strength. (要点 4) (73 words)
【解析】
这是一篇概要写作。文章主要讲述了青少年健康水平的三种分类，以及每种水平的青少年应该通过什么方式来保持健康。
通读全文，我们可以从以下四个方面对文章进行总结：体育锻炼对青少年的健康非常重要，所以青少年要了解自己的健康水平，并以此制定健康计划；超重、不活跃以及活跃是促使一个人改变生活方式的三个水平；除了超重的青少年要进行燃烧卡路里的运动外，不活跃和活跃的青少年也被建议做更多锻炼来增强体质；此外，为了避免受伤以及增强体力，密集型锻炼和增强体质的锻炼是必需的。
4.【参考范文】
Kong xiangdong, a classical pianist performed the classical music combined with Chinese folk music in his concert in order to bring Chinese folk music to the whole world. (para.1) Influenced by his mom, Kong xiangdong learned to play the piano from an early age but his way to success is not an easy one. Due to his talent and great efforts, he became renowned worldwide by winning many great awards in competitions.(para.2)Years of performing classical music make him lose his own root and identity, so he turned to Chinese folk music. (para.3&4) Kong xiangdong is regarded as the pioneer in music for his new experiments with different music styles.(para.5) 【解析】
这是一篇概要写作。
写作步骤 1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要介绍了古典钢琴家孔向东在他的音乐会上表演了古典音乐与中国民族音乐的结合，目的是把中国民族音乐带到全世界。在母亲的影响下，孔祥东从小就学会了弹钢琴，但他的成功之路并不容易。由于他的才华和努力，他在比赛中赢得了许多大奖，蜚声世界。多年的古典音乐表演让他失去了自己的根基和身份，于是他转向了中国的民族音乐。孔祥东尝试了不同的音乐风格，被认为是音乐的先驱。
2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。
3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。
5.【参考范文】
The year 2017 saw an improvement in sales of electric vehicles around the world. Supportive policies and cost reductions will cause significant growth of electric cars in 2030, according to a new report. To reduce pressure on the environment, many countries have taken various measures to improve CO2 emissions standards. Although they use batteries rather than petrol and diesel fuel, electric vehicles are still controversial. 【解析】
对于内容概要型的写作题目，可以逐段总结段落大意，从中梳理文章的整体架构和论述方式，继而整合出完整的内容概要。
第一段主要讲述了 2017 年世界范围内电动汽车市场取得了显著的发展，可以写为：The year 2017 saw an improvement in sales of electric vehicles around the world。
第二段主要讲述了国际能源署在报告中预测了电动汽车的前景非常乐观，相关的扶持政策和成本的降低可以使得电动汽车到 2030 年取得显著发展，可以写为：Supportive policies and cost reductions will cause significant growth of electric cars in 2030, according to a new report。
第三段和第四段主要讲述了包括欧盟在内的多个国家和地区，都制定了碳排放的标准以减少对环境的不利影响，而电动汽车尽管比较环保，仍然处于很大的争议之中。可以写为：To reduce pressure on the environment, many countries have taken various measures to improve CO2 emissions standards. Although they use batteries rather than petrol and diesel fuel, electric vehicles are still controversial. 综合来看，本文就是围绕着电动汽车的发展现状和前景展开的一篇新闻报道，根据国际
能源署的报告，2017 年电动汽车的发展迅猛，且未来的前景也非常乐观，节能减排是世界范围内的大势所趋，但尽管如此，电动汽车仍然备受争议。这样将文章大意梳理清楚后，就可以整合各段的大意写成最终的内容概要。